


Angel or not (I still love you)

by cloudnymphs



Series: Angel or Not-- I still love you. [1]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Angst, Family, First Kiss, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Kind of takes places before dbs chapter 66 and 67--going of manga timeline, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, mortal!Merus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:49:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28184943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudnymphs/pseuds/cloudnymphs
Summary: AU. Learning how to be “mortal” comes with its difficulties, but luckily for Merus, Jaco is there to help him.OrMerus somewhat expects to come back alone, yet not much to his surprise, Jaco is there to help.
Relationships: Grand Priest & Merus, Merus & Whis, Merus/Jaco Teirimentenpibosshi, Supreme Kai | Shin & Merus
Series: Angel or Not-- I still love you. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2064702
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	Angel or not (I still love you)

**Author's Note:**

> So the chapter is out and things more or less went how I wanted them too XD. isn’t funny though-- I LITERALLY started a series about rehabilitation yesterday and then this happens. It’s somewhat of the same concept as my trouble maker series (which I plan to continue) and Im just gonna make these canon merus/jaco stories in a diff catergory from my original. So that said, this isn’t really connected to my previous story?? But please enjoy--this follows the manga. also this was looong lol. so if you like it please let me know it would mean a lot.

There were many things Merus expected after he got erased.

Well to be fair-- expected was a poor choice of words. Once a being--even an angel--was erased there was nothing to look forward to or even speculate. Just darkness, loss of mind and self and in the most simplest way, the lack of existence.

So when Merus started to feel something--a sensation….a burning...a  _ heart beat,  _ he wasn’t entirely sure what to think. Not until his violet eyes opened, and three blurry figures hovered above him until finally his vision settled and he was able to make them out...all of them.

“F...father.” That was the obvious one, the Daishinkan, who was currently floating above the others. His expression was somber yet he’d managed a smile somewhere there, but Merus feared the happiness to be short lived. He had felt his heart beating before he’d woken, he could now feel the blood coursing through his veins, and the sensation of touch as he forced himself to sit up to get a better look around. 

He may have been in the realm of his father, and by default surrounded by angels and the Grand Xeno’s, but there was the undeniable fact that Merus was at this point, a mortal.

“It was the only way.” The Daishinkan spoke, his voice even more heartfelt than his expression. He either read Merus’s mind, or was able to pick up on what he felt.

“I--I wanted it to originally be me, to go in place for you. So that way, perhaps you could still be divine.” That voice came from the slightly shorter being standing below the Daishinkan, and was none other than the Supreme Kai of the 7th Universe - Shin. Merus hadn’t even personally met him, but he felt like he’d known him so well already. Goku had talked about him immensely when they were training, and he spoke nothing but positive things in his regard . Merus has already gotten an idea of him Shin, 

and luckily now, he was not disappointed.

“But your Father...he said it wasn’t possible, so we negotiated this instead. I’ve been watching you Merus, and know how much you’ve helped others--how much you’ve helped Goku. I believe you deserve to live, even if the cost would’ve been my life. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.”

“You’ve done enough.” Merus forced, his chest burning as he spoke. “Thank you.” His violet eyes drifted to Whis in the background, who as usual remained impassive, and then back at the Daishinkan.

“Don’t blame yourself father. I made the decision to die for the mortals on my own accord and I don’t regret it--whatever journey this life may bring me.” 

There was a heavy silence as everyone pondered on Merus’s statement. As deities, they knew the intricacies and fallacies of mortality. Merus hadn’t ever really thought of it as an angel, but now as a human it would be something he’d face every day. Things wouldn’t be as easy--death was permanent for him, and he could not count on his father to bail him out if again, this happened. 

He currently sat on a small bed in one of the rooms of the Daishinkan’s palace, that is where they’d all congregated. He looked around, taking in every detail and every piece--his brother, his father, the walls and even Shin. Having a steady connection the angels was rare for a Merus in general, especially when he was out on his assignment. But as a mortal, that bond to the divine would simmer...little by little even if he had for millions of years, been one of them.

In short, he wanted to savor this--his father, this realm, Whis , Shin and everything here, for one day he’d forget it. He’d remember this place, these deities and his time as an angel like a fairy tale until his body grew old, and those distant memories would visit him like vague dreams until he faded away. 

He didn’t want to forget any of it--and perhaps that is what saddened him the most. 

“Merus,” The Daishinkan moved through his thoughts, bringing him back to attention. “I’ve resurrected you as a mortal however, you will never stop being my son and I want you to know this. I will always be watching you, even if you do not see me. That said,” He landed, stepped forward toward the bed to place a hand Merus’s shoulder. “You will never be able to come here on you own again, you will never be able to see the angels or the divine again unless you’re in our presence, or we come to you.”

“In other words, I’m alone.” Merus emphasized, the words heavy on his own heart.

“No.” Shin stepped forward. “You aren’t alone, and I think I’ve found someone who can help you as you’re transitioning to mortality. A friend, whom you have known for some time now...hundreds of years or so.” 

There was a twinge in Merus’s heart--yet this time he wasn’t sure what for. It wasn’t sad like earlier, in fact, it jolted him and if anything made him feel happiness. “But we’ll get to all of that later on, I’ll be in charge of you from now until we part.” Shin’s shoulders sagged just a bit. “Your father says you cannot stay for too long.”

“No I cannot. What father has done can also be seen as a violation of angel law, and staying where I am not supposed to be--even if it was my home at a point, can get father scrutinized. I suppose we should go.” 

The Daishinkan’s expression remained somber, but he still kept a steady smile. It was encouraging, uplifting Merus even in this most troublesome time. He stole a glance at Whis who wore an impassive expression and then he turned to Shin, who gave him a firm nod.

“I will watch over your son, and I’ll protect him. I’ll do better than Beerus did.” Shin grinned as he added the last part, and then turned, extending a hand for Merus to grab. “I’ll help you stand. You all can say your farewells and then you and I can get going.” 

Standing for the first time was nearly catastrophic. Despite Shin meaning well, he was far shorter than Merus and made balancing difficult. As Merus felt himself losing his footing while he attempted to force himself to his feet, a taller--sturdier being had appeared out of nowhere to steady him. 

He didn’t have to look up to know it was Whis.

“Still clumsy, even as a mortal.” Whis whispered, standing Merus to his feet. “That will truly be the death of you.”

“It already was.” Merus added. He then looked up at Whis, and for the first time realized just how  _ beautiful  _ his brother was--how luminescent his eyes were, how his skin glowed like star light and his expression was as intoxicating as the most aged wine. “Thank you--for everything, and please do not blame yourself.” Whis inclined his head. 

“Thank you for making a sacrifice that I never had the strength to.” And like that, he playfully ruffled Merus’s hair, causing Shin to laugh. 

The next person Merus turned to, as off balance as his walking was, was his father, The Daishinkan.

“Father, before I go I want you to know that--”

“You’re sorry? For what.” He had no qualms with reading his son’s mind; something that brought Merus comfort. 

“You made a choice for yourself, you had the power and the knowledge to choose free will over the pain of those you cared about, and for being yourself you will never have to apologize. I will never be angry with you for what you’ve done. I will miss you, but I will be nothing short of proud.”

Merus hadn’t ever truly felt sadness, or even the remnants of regret. But then, when he saw his father for the first time, pour out some semblance of emotions--it was hard. It was hard not to imagine how less difficult things would’ve been if he’d followed angel code, and if of course, he wasn’t here saying goodbye to his family.

Merus pondered on if it would be appropriate to embrace him--after all, that is what mortals did-embraced their loved ones. Yet, he refused to hug him for the same reason he couldn’t cry--it simply wasn’t in the blueprint of their relationship and when he parted with his father, he would prefer to keep some fragment of what they were. So as usual, a kneel in respect to him would do the trick and for the last time in a while, both father and son looked at each other, nothing but reverence and pride in their eyes and Merus  _ knew  _ then he’d done the right thing. 

His father was proud of him, and that is at the end of the day, one of the things that made him the happiest. 

It didn’t take him long to feel a soft hand on his shoulder and all that was needed for him to do next was look, and Shin was standing right there.

He was happy, for when the Supreme Kai teleported him away, the last thing he saw of home was his father’s smile, and he knew that smile would pull him through the hard times to come.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

“There was some truth to what your father said, but also--some things I myself could’ve been clearer on with the Daishinkan, but I didn’t want to push it.”

The two had landed on a distant planet, Earth, Merus instantly recognized. At this moment, they were in a field; the grass high enough to cover both of them if the wind hit the blades right. Shin exhaled and sat down, motioning for Merus to do the same and slowly, he did.

“What do you mean by that?” Merus asked.

“Well, you aren’t to be around the divine unless the divine finds you. I am at the end of the day, a Kaioshin and at least in my Universe, we take on mortals of any type. Your resurrection was unique and I think...I  _ don’t  _ think it’s fair that you lost everything that made you well...you. That said, simply between the two of us Merus for now...I um, I have given you some of my power and my life span--”

“Shin--!”

“No, please. It’s the least I could do. If the angels hadn’t beaten me with giving Goku Ultra Instinct I would’ve done the same thing to him, but you protected my Universe when I couldn’t...again, and you deserve more than to just be a mortal. Now, living for millions and millions of years is nothing like an angelic lifespan but...it’s something, and you do have my abilities. Or at least, the abilities of a Shinjin assistant...healing, teleporting, creating...everything...let’s just…” Shin put a finger to his lips. “Keep it between the two of us, for now.”

Merus smiled, his shoulders sagging. “I don’t know how to repay you...all I can say is that, everything Goku said about you was right. No wonder he’d speak so highly of you, even when the situation never called for it.”

Merus caught a side glance at Shin and saw the way his shoulders tensed and his purple cheeks flushed. “Um--well...I um…” He exhaled. “Anyway, while you’re free to stay in my realm, I think it would be safer for you to stay here and be familiarized with mortal customs just to make sure your father is aware you’re doing what you’ve been commanded..”

“You mentioned a mortal earlier...one I was close to…”

“I did, and you reacted. It’s clear you know who he is.” Shin responded. “You can’t hide your emotions that well anymore, and I can tell when a mortal is in love. It’s obvious to me that you’ve harbored some feelings toward this friend--Jaco.”

Again, that warm feeling raced through his heart until he forced it down; he couldn’t show himself in front of Shin. Needless to say, it was slightly embarrassing. 

  
“I bet you thought that you’d never have to confront him.”

“I’ve had feelings for him for over a hundred years, yes. But, I never suspected he’d return those feelings because I was never his type. Jaco always seemed to like overly confident people, like him. Outside of the battle field, I can be seen as shy, reserved and quiet--that’s what people would say and I don’t think someone like Jaco would care for me. However, I never changed how I felt about him, and my love for him is one reason I made peace with my erasure. It’s funny...I could never put how I really felt about him into words and now...I’m facing that task. I feel that, if I loved him less, then perhaps I could speak about it more.” Merus shrugged. “But I cannot say those feelings are returned.”

Shin remained silent for a few moments, the wind tearing through the grass fields, tossling both their hair to the side. It was then he exhaled and stood, holding out a hand to Merus. 

“Are you sure? It’s been a while since you vanished, a week or two and Jaco  _ could  _ be doing better. My point, I can always tell when mortals are in love and who they are in love with. You have nothing to fear and he is the mortal who will help you through this.” 

“Have you asked him yet?”

Merus asked this after he took Shin’s hand, and was not surprised when they’d teleported elsewhere, landing in front of a medium sized house in a small, cozy neighborhood.

“We’re going to ask him now.” Shin motioned toward the house. “Jaco isn’t from Earth, but he’s started to stay here in his free time and he’s here now.” Merus felt a series of emotions that he couldn’t quite explain, but more importantly he felt as if he was going to be ill. 

  
Shin walked forward upon the small path and knocked, not giving Merus time to react or prepare himself. Merus wanted to grab Shin and run, or disappear himself--yet he was certain he wasn’t skilled in teleportation or flying, at least not yet which would make for an embarrassing display. Yet, just as he wanted to depart, the door swung open and even from his semi hiding space on the side of the house, he saw Jaco. There were some things about Jaco he noticed almost instantly, that were different about him from usual. Aside from him wearing clothes (some simple house shorts and a t-shirt--which Merus had never seen), he looked agitated--upset almost. He seemed to warm up when he saw Shin, but his expressions drifted from saddened, to anger to just defeated and unfortunately--Merus couldn’t hear what they were saying. 

Yet much to his fear and own sadness, it seemed as if Jaco began to cry--uncontrollably, randomly almost and in a fit of emotion turned around to go back into the house. Merus, for whatever reservations he had left decided that waiting out here was not the right thing to do. He sucked up his fear and immediately walked up the trail and right through the doorway past Shin and after Jaco. It was funny--his heart was racing, his ears were ringing and he was  _ terrified,  _ but of what...well he wasn’t sure. He didn’t even feel this terrified when he was erased. Yet all he knew is that the sight of seeing Jaco cry didn’t sit well with him and at the end of the day, he’d give anything to make Jaco happy.

Luckily for him, he caught up to Jaco before he went further into the house. Merus didn’t grab him or anything. The truth was, Merus had dreamed of this moment for years, and that felt like an eternity to him. He never expected to get here, to confess to the person he loved the most in even the most strangest of circumstances. Yet here he was, against all odds and all forms of angelic law, here at this moment. So it  _ had  _ to be for a reason. 

“Jaco…” 

Merus spoke in just shy of a whisper and to his shock, Jaco stopped. He remained frozen in one position, until slowly, he forced himself to turn like an unoiled wheel on a rusted hinge. As if his eyes weren’t already wide enough, they increased around the edges while his jaw hung open for a good minute or so until he spoke, his voice quivering.

“What is this--this isn’t real…” It had to be the most serious Merus had ever heard Jaco. “Am I dreaming, again?”

Merus laughed. “No Jaco...it’s really me.” He held out a hand, and very slowly Jaco walked forward. His dark fingers reached out and then carefully, intertwined with Merus’s lavender hand. Jaco gasped a bit, feeling harder, tugging on him until he yanked Merus closer to him. He felt Merus’s arms, his shoulders, his hands again until he tightly grabbed on to his wrists. Merus didn’t make a sound during this, he only gazed down at Jaco.

Jaco then broke the silence by a somewhat dry sob before speaking. “But you...you faded away...I saw...I saw...and they said you were an angel and--”

“My father brought me back because of Shin, and I’m here...for good. I’m sorry Jaco, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Merus was honest, and took Jaco’s hands in his own, feeling just a bit of fear but now more than anything courage. “I did disappear, I did fade away, but I’m here now.”

Jaco gasped and before he was able to conjure up anything else to say, he simply hugged Merus, nearly knocking him off of his feet. Merus, having to get used to having a durable--yet mortal body--steadied himself and hugged Jaco back. Merus was still by default, stronger than Jaco but Jaco and his species was still incredibly sturdy and at times could make themselves as hard as rocks. Merus was not expecting Jaco to run head first into his stomach.

Yet as he regained his durability, he found it easier to embrace Jaco and lightly rub his head as Jaco no doubt began to sob. Merus had felt himself getting misty eyed but wasn’t yet used to the sensation of weeping.

“I missed you  _ so  _ much and I’m sorry I let you down! I’m sorry you were erased because of me!”

“Jaco, it wasn’t your fault and if anything, I am  _ so glad  _ I protected you and I don’t regret it. Things are just going to be harder now...I’m a mortal, and I’ve never been that and--”

“Do you need help? Do you need some place to stay or to live...forever...please stay with me, you don’t even have to ask!” Jaco tore away and looked up at him, his ember eyes still glistening. “I..I don’t know anything about helping an angel or mortal or whatever you are, but I’ll do anything and everything I can. You don’t have to do this alone. You’re not alone and I’ll protect you and help you  _ any  _ way I can.” Merus was taken aback by Jaco’s quick proclamation and truly, did not know what to say to counter that. Merus’s case wouldn’t be easy and Jaco knew that, so the fact that he was willing to possibly reroute his own life, for Merus meant a lot. 

“Jaco...I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Don’t fade away again.” Jaco responded, hugging him again, tighter this time. “ _ Please  _ don’t fade away.” 

Those simple words had so much meaning and even Merus remembered the day he vanished; how quickly he slipped past the realms of the multiverse into nothingness. The only things he remembered were the looks of shock on Goku and Jaco’s faces; Jaco screaming his name was a sound he could never forget. 

So he nodded, rubbing Jaco’s back and pulling him closer. 

“I won’t and Jaco…” Merus inhaled, prepared to confess. “There’s something I need to tell you...something I want to tell you.”

“You love me?” Jaco pushed away from him, a smirk on his face. He seemed a bit more chummy now, wiping his eyes and laughing. “Shin alluded to that--that’s why I cried, and I mean, even if he didn’t--I could have told you that myself. But hey, obviously the feelings are mutual! But damn you Merus, I don’t cry in front of anyone--I feel like a baby!” 

It was clear Jaco was attempting to regain what little personal dignity he had left, but Merus standing there was making it hard. 

“I hope you two don’t mind.” Shin appeared behind them after having kept his distance during the previous moments. “First off, I want to say I told you so Merus, he loves you. Second...you and I are in charge of Merus now, and his survival. Even though he’s no longer an angel, his father still wants him to live. Are you up for that Jaco?”

“Of course.” Jaco grinned.

“There’s a bit more I have to explain but….”

At that moment, their voices began to drown out and Merus found it more and more difficult to focus--if that was even the word. The images around him distorted, the lights pouring in from the windows and the open front door began to blind him and suddenly he felt himself needing to sit down, if not--he’d fall. And to him it appeared he  _ did  _ fall but clearly something (Jaco, Shin or both) caught him. The world around him drifted into a whirl and vanished into brilliant colors. Was this sleep? Was he passing out? Regardless, he didn’t care...perhaps it was the load he’d just let off of his chest, but whatever this was felt fairly decent. 

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

“That’s another thing I wanted to talk about--Merus’s body is adjusting to being mortal but also to his Shinjin abilities that will pop up, little by little. For now let’s say, we’ll start with his version of mortality.” That was clearly Shin speaking, and as Merus woke up (again in another bed with a window to his side), he saw him at the end. “I’ve been taking him around to different places and his body isn’t used to that. Also, this whole situation has taken a toll on him, and he needs rest, he’ll need it for a while. Take things easy.”

Jaco, who currently sat on the bed next to Merus, nodded. 

“You don’t need to tell me.” Jaco grinned. “You won’t be going back to the Galactic Patrol anytime soon Merus, I hope you know that. Hell, half the people there don’t even know you’re alive but still,you need rest.  _ Maybe  _ you can attend the award ceremony but that’s it. We’ll have to tell the Galactic King but still--don’t try anything funny.” 

Merus was too tired to argue, and even if he had the strength, he knew that he’d lose. So he just smiled, succumbing to the comfort of the pillow.

“We’ll also surprise Goku...we won’t tell him yet.” Jaco laughed. “I’d love to see his face when he discovers Merus is alive.”

“Yet, be kind to him Jaco.” Shin was a little snippy, much to Merus’s pleasure. Even exhausted in bed, he could sense a bit of the Shinjin’s protectiveness toward Goku. “It would however be funny to trick Vegeta and pull him off of his high horse.”

The three got a laugh out of that, and Shin gave the couple one more gaze before he backed up. “I’ll take my leave now. I’ll come to check on Merus and help you with him about five times a week, more if needed and then, when he grows stronger I’ll teach him how to harness the shinjin abilities I’ve given him, until then--you two take care.” 

Before Shin vanished, Merus forced himself to sit up and addressed Shin.

“Supreme Kai, thank you for everything and….before you go...you’re not as good as you think you know.”

“Not good at what?” Shin pressed.

“You said you can tell when mortals are in love. You’re not as good as you think if you can’t even tell that a mortal who is usually around  _ you  _ has loved you for some time now.” Shin paused, a blush escaped his cheeks, yet he couldn’t muster an answer in response. In return, he let off a smile and teleported away leaving Jaco and Merus alone. 

Jaco was very quick to slip under the covers with Merus, hugging him tightly.

“So, how do you feel?” Jaco asked, his head resting on top of Merus’s chest. “Also, if I’m too heavy let me know.”

“You’re not heavy….and I feel fine. Strange, but fine, it’s truly been a wild time for me….but you’ve made it better. Thank you Jaco, for taking me in.”

“You don’t have to thank me. You saved me, it’s the  _ least  _ I could do.” Jaco chided. “Let’s just keep you healthy and safe , okay? No playing hero or even going to the Galactic Patrol base--unless I clear it--I’m serious!” He playfully tapped on Merus’s chest until he nodded. “I’m not gonna lose you again silly.”

Merus sighed, closing his eyes, his hand resting on top of Jaco’s shoulder and pulling him close--it was very nice to be like this.

“We have  _ so  _ much to do though! We’ve gotta find your favorite things, your clothing style--as adorable as you look in the Galactic Patrol uniform you can’t keep wearing it, your favorite food, movie, book--everything! We’re just getting started but we’re gonna have so much fun! And I have to introduce you to my mom….” 

Jaco went on, as he always did an all the while, Merus fell back into his own thoughts. He drifted back to the day he’d first met Jaco, and how happy he was. It was like, he was discovering happiness for the first time; he was finding his heart beat even though back then he didn’t have one and perhaps, falling in love was the closest he’d ever felt to being mortal and here he was again, feeling that again. He only hoped Jaco would continue to accept him this way.

“I’m not the same.” He spoke, rather abruptly cutting Jaco off, on accident. But prssed on. “I just--I want you to know that. I’m not the Merus that fought Moro, or the Merus who taught Goku Ultran instinct or anything like that, I’m not the Merus you--”

“Merus, I knew you before you were an angel.” Jaco was sitting up now, his arms crossed and a slightly annoyed look on his face. “Or before you revealed yourself as one...the Merus I knew never used angelic strength to do anything. Sure you were the best, but you had your limits and you have your limits now. I don’t care what or who you are--angel or not, I still love you and I always will.” Jaco leaned forward and for the first time, kissed Merus on the corner of his lip, trailing down to his jaw line and pulling back to reveal a snarky smirk. Merus on the other hand had begun to blush dark purple. 

“And don’t you  _ ever _ forget that.” 

Jaco eventually crashed back down upon Merus’s chest and drifted off into sleep. Naturally Merus followed him and for the first time, fell into his most peaceful slumber yet.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! If you did, please leave a kudos and tell me what you think--it means EVERYTHING. Thank you again!!


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